January is for sure the busiest month for gyms across America. If your New Year’s resolution is to kick off a brand new fitness plan, then take the advice of someone who’s been going to the gym for an entire year (I’m basically a professional athlete now): all gyms have the same people. Sure, the vibe of each gym might be different and the equipment may vary, but it’s practically a guarantee that you’ll run into one of these five people you meet at the gym.
It can be easy to do what you’ve always done at the gym. For most people that means sticking to the cardio equipment with the occasional dalliance in a weight machine. But then there are the badass ladies at the gym who know exactly what they’re doing and they’re GOOD at it. They’re doing pull-ups, that upside down crunch thing, and deadlifting alongside the best of them, in a cute outfit to boot. An inspiration to us all.
Very Strong Men
OH, MY GOD. Sometimes I want to walk over to these guys and ask if they’re dying and/or currently having sexual intercourse because of the noises they’re making. I’m all for pushing yourself while working out, but if you can’t bench press 50 pounds without sounding like you’re experiencing a hernia, there’s no shame in dropping down to 40. These guys just need to do us all a favor and keep the grunting and showboating to a minimum. They aren’t impressing anyone and are more distracting than they should be.
Too Comfortable People
There are always that handful of people who are just a little too comfortable at the gym. They treat it like their personal workout space instead of a public place that they are sharing with others. Whether it’s the guy who lifts barefoot, the people who are more than happy to give you unsolicited advice, or the people chatting with the staff more than actually working out, some people just treat the gym like an extension of their living room.
It’s important to feel comfortable at your gym, for sure. It should be a supportive environment that makes you feel good about exercising. But just don’t get so comfortable that you’re walking around the locker room stark naked when it’s clearly a towel/robe kind of gym.
That One Gross Guy
Unfortunately, the gross guy comes in a few different varieties and each gym typically has more than one. It could be the guy who doesn’t seem to be actually working out but is sure staring a lot (you aren’t subtle, sir), the guy who sweats A LOT but can’t be bothered to wipe down the machine, or, my personal nemesis, the guy who crop dusts the weight area. I can only imagine these guys don’t understand how gross they’re being and therefore don’t address their behavior. There’s no hope for remediation here; best to just avoid at all costs.
AKA the group you should try to be in. No one wants to be the memorable person from the gym (it’s usually for a bad reason) and considerate people tend to fade into the background. They respect the rules of personal space, wipe down machines after they use them, and are just there to get their workout in and get out. Consider this our shout out to these silent superheroes (emphasis on SILENT). You guys are the real MVPs of the gym, keep doing you.
So, now that you’re armed with this crucial information of the five people you meet at the gym, go forth baby gym rats! Crush that workout, wipe down your machines, and keep up the good work!